no house, no home

Currently, I am homeless.

Well i have a place to stay,

i just don't have a bed or

anywhere i feel like is my own little space.

Even back in the Bay, at my "home" home

i don't even have my own place.

It really is quite a strange feeling.

I'm currently surrounded by people i love,

who love me back,

but at the same time, i can't help feeling really lonely.

There are a lot of weird feelings going on inside of me,

and i don't know if i can express them

because i feel like they're really petty and

i don't really have a place to be whining about stupid shit

like the way i feel about the smallest things.

I kind of just want to go home,

back to the Bay

where i can avoid this unnecessary awkwardness

that i can't express because it doesn't really exist

(if that makes any sense at all, which i'm sure it doesn't)

Looking back, i haven't really changed.

Is this selfish of me?

to believe that i am giving more than i am receiving?

Is it selfish of me to feel unappreciated?

Or maybe i'm just not allowing myself to see that i am,

because i just want to wallow in my own self pity.

What. the.

I make no sense, to anyone, to myself.

Am i self-centered?

we probably all are, a little bit.

isn't this what a blog is for?

so we can just talk about ourselves as much as we want

and not have to worry about listening to anyone else's rants.

Stop. This. Nonsense.