can't/won't?

This relationship is flat lining.
i'm not making any effort anymore
(was i ever?)

it's finally starting to hit me
that things really don't just get handed to you in life.
shit,
have i been really that spoiled all this time?

i'm so unsure of what to do over the summer
that's what happens when i try to plan things.
it's probably not going to end up the way i think it will.
God works in interesting ways.

i only blog when i don't want to do work.

photo update:
floatopia
i miss my bnfl.idk,my bffsylvea.nancypants + snakes + state streetabandoned houses, still had dirty dishes left in the sinks.
i wonder where these people went,
why they had to leave so abruptly.
what will take the place of these homes?

i miss home.
so much.
i don't know why
and i don't think the people around me
really realize how much i miss home.
i know i don't do anything when i go there,
and that there isn't a bed for me to sleep in,
i just want to be near my family.
i don't miss high school at all,
but i want to be back with my mom dad and brother.
just the four of us.
sitting at the dinner table together,
my brother and i wanting to eat as fast as we can so we can go upstairs,
my dad trying to get us to talk to him,
but only in korean.
my mom making us all hot and fresh food,
while she microwaves last night's leftovers to keep the fridge clean.

this isn't helping.