sleep on needles

so lately,
i've been having dreams about waking up,
getting out of bed,
and just doing random everyday things.

i hate it
i really can't stand it,
because now
when i do get up
i'm not even sure if i'm actually awake.
i half expect to wake up again.

and this time,
i did try to get up once,
but i couldn't.
i had total sleep paralysis
which i have never had before.

sleeping just makes me tired now.