this barrier

is slowly being broken down,

bit by bit.

and you know what?

it scares the shit out of me.

i'm trying so hard to stay nonchalant

but i care. too much.

how do i express this?

i don't know how to communicate properly.

at least not verbally.

i obviously have no problem expressing myself through my keyboard.

fighting my feelings is draining.

i'm tired. so tired.

am i waiting for you?

you said you'd wait for me.

i thought after we had the talk i'd feel better.

i did feel better.

then i started getting nervous again

after hearing these new things.

it's nerve-wracking and consuming. still.

ughhhhhh.