make believe

sometimes
you just have to pretend nothing's wrong
and go about life.

grinning and bearing it.

not being mopey and so sighface,
expecting someone to ask you what's wrong
so you can moan about it some more.

it's just too much.

knock you down

i just finished my last final.
now all i need to do is finish revisions on my writing2 paper
and i'm finished for the year.

i should be in a more celebratory mood,
like most students are at this time-
updating my facebook/twitter status as something ecstatic like
YEAH SUMMER!
but i'm not.

in fact,
what i really would like to do now,
right after i turn in my paper,
is to turn my bottom bunk into a cave
and just curl up and be alone.

i really amhappy that i'm finished with my first year of college,
but there are just so many negative thoughts running through my head
haunting me
taunting me.

i just took my biopsych final
we had three hours
to answer fifty-three multiple choice questions.
how long did i take?
thirty minutes.
and i double checked my answers.
shit, man.
as soon as i got out,
i just felt so shitty.

i had a good two hours to wait for nancy to get out of her final,
to just sit outside on a bench by myself
and think about how horribly i must have done.

dsifuhbkdsjhncuihdklsjfc

pulp fiction

my finals days in FT, or Santa Catalina, officially

are drawing to an end

i have to say,

it's been such a memorable experience

dorm life.

i really will miss these days

having everyone around so close.

it's hard to imagine just less than a year ago

i had no idea who these people were

these people that i've shared such memorable times with

and my roommate

nancy pants!

who knew i'd get to share a room with such a gal

it'll be bittersweet not having her around 24/7

but she'll be living next door,

so it'll be the same, basically.

it'll be weird not having the guys so close

always just barging into our room

eating my red vines and disturbing our peace

it's been great,

and i can't wait for what next year has in store.

eleven

more days.

and then i will have completed my first year of college