el perro del mar

listen to her,
her voice is mesmerizing,
angelic.
her lyrics, heartbreaking.

it sucks

but i can't hate him.
as much as i would like to- want to
i want to be a good friend,
but there will always be a part of me
that remembers the past
and the fond memories i have of it.
it's too much of a part of me to throw away,
and i feel like a horrible person for it.
I'm sorry.

Dear God

Dear God, I'm trying hard to reach you
Dear God, I see your face in all I do
Sometimes it’s so hard to believe in
Good God I know you have your reasons

Dear God I see you move the mountains
Dear God I see you moving trees
Sometimes it’s nothing to believe in
Sometimes it’s everything I see

Well I’ve been thinking about,
And I’ve been breaking it down without an answer
I know I’m thinking aloud but if your love's
Still around why do we suffer?
Why do we suffer?

Dear God, I wish that I could touch you
How strange sometimes I feel I almost do
And then I'm back behind the glass again
Oh God what keeps you out it keeps me in

Well I’ve been thinking about,
And I’ve been breaking down without an answer
I know I’m thinking aloud but if your loves
Still around why do we suffer?
Why do we suffer?

-Monsters of Folk, Dear God

halloween

on the night of halloween i texted my neighbor
(the one i have a huge crush on)
"_____ happy halloween"
and went to sleep

that morning i woke up to his reply
"Jennifer i love you :)"

and let me tell you,
that is the best way to start a morning.

well, i guess he was rolling pretty hard that night
(since he was at a rave that night)
and high on shrooms
but idgaf,
it made my day.

habits

i've picked up some strange habits

during my time here so far.

for instance,

everytime i go to someone's house

and i use their bathroom

i always make sure to smell their towel

before drying my hands.

i've run into too many situations

involving stinky towels transferring their smell

onto my hands

and having such an acute sense of smell,

it's really really really bothersome.

my dreams are so vivid

sometimes i can't tell whether they were actually dreams or not

it's actually a bit scary to think about,

is this really happening?

or is it just a figment of my imagination?

for all i know

i'm dreaming right now

and i'll be waking up in a bit

wondering if this post actually happened or not.


and the cycle continues..

The dishes are slowly disappearing from the cupboards
and ending up strewn all over the kitchen counter,
pieces of leftover food drying up and crusting..

The urge to get up and wash them and
put them back in their respectable place is so irresistible,
but you know what?
I'm not going to do the dishes.
Because none of those dirty plates, bowls, and silverware are mine!
I've been so busy lately, I rarely ever home for more than an hour
and have no time to eat at all.

Should i just do the dishes, and be the bigger man here?