knocking at my door

At around 2:30,
Amanda texts me telling me that she's studying in Caje
and that there is a cute man sitting next to her
reading the bible and that i should marry him.
I was already thinking about studying there,
so i head over and sit with her.
I read 'Meeting Jesus again for the First Time'
for my religious studies class.
Next to Amanda is this guy immersed in his study bible,
and next to me is a couple talking about the book of Deuteronomy.
Across from us sits two guys talking about their spiritual lives.
Four separate parties
all connected by one God,
whether it be for personal or academic purposes,
I still felt His presence there.

boy crazy

i wish it wasn't like that.
I wish i didn't have so many high hopes
just to have them shot down.

Weights

I got into stats!

A huge burden has been lifted from me.

I don't have to take summer school

(unless i fail this)

but i kind of want to stay here..

We got a place to live for next year,

it's right across the street

and at least 100$ cheaper a month.

God really does provide.

Maybe this means I'll be getting the job at caje??

We will see.

Cops

"don't sit on the curb, you'll get arrested..

"don't worry, they can't see me behind this car.

Oh kristen,

i should listen to what you say.

Thank God there was a girl stupider than me

with a red cup in her hand.

Part Time

Psychology 5:

Introductory Statistics.

You're making my life miserable.

Not because your content is too difficult,

no,

because I'm currently attending these classes

without being enrolled in it.

I'm doing the reading, doing the homework.

I need this class.

Without it,

I'm not a full time student,

I won't be able to take Psych7 next quarter,

I'll have to take summer school,

meaning I won't be able to go home at all.

Please. This is killing me.

I'm stressed out and it's so ridiculous

the only thing i can do is wait.

I feel so helpless.

"just kiss him, give him a kiss on the cheek at least..."

oh, but it's easier said than done.

Drawers

I've been writing in diaries for a long time.
Never all that consistently,
but i find myself always going back to
one of my many journals and write about my life.
I've gone through so many unfinished notebooks,
i can't even count
But there's this one incident that never fails to leave my mind.
When i was a kid,
i had this diary that had this huge built-in
compartment to store knick-knacks.
I couldn't tell you what i had written in it,
or what i had stored in the compartment
(actually, i think i stored some sentimental buttons
or gemstones and such)
but when we moved,
i realized it had disappeared.
It made me pretty upset,
and to this day
i regret losing it.

Secrets

I love exchanging smiles

with strangers.

You don't know them at all,

yet you have this relationship

that's so subtle and fleeting

As if you share a secret

that will never be shared again.

Criagslist

I really want to post a 'Missed Connections,'

reaching out to that one who i felt a spark with,

got along so well with

but never actually got his name.

It doesn't even have to be that we actually spoke,

maybe i would have just caught you staring,

and you caught me staring back.

Maybe at a coffee shop,

or walking across campus.

However it may be,

i would love to one day post something

on Craigslist under 'Missed Connections.'

Like the Lion of Oz

I get such butterflies
even when i just think about
writing on his facebook wall.
I feel such mixed emotions,
excited and hopeful
yet foolish and full of doubt.
The lack of confidence
and assertiveness
prevents me from
actually living out
my dreams
(even though these dreams
are actually quite realistic).
Like the Lion of Oz,
i would really just like to have
some courage.
The courage to finally break through;
meet the people i want to meet,
and experience what i've always
talked about.